JEERS to The Advocate for saying Pat Malone was a Republican [Not that there’s anything wrong with that]. It was a telltale sign that we might be slightly liberal-leaning [Not that there’s anything wrong with that]. Luckily, we fixed our mistake and are currently slapping the reporters’ knuckles with a ruler… [we’re actually fine with corporal punishment.]
Moving along…
MANY AND VARIED CHEERS for Sharon McGavick of Lebanon. Her experience at Linn Benton Community College was so positive, she decided to pay it forward by funding a yearly scholarship to… wait for it… Linn Benton Community College. [okay, not a surprise, but a really nice thing to do anyway]
BEFUDDLED FROWNS for Benton County warming centers. No, the snow-magendon we were expecting didn’t flop its water-heavy weight upon us. Yes, the county has no responsibility for taking care of the less fortunate [*cough*nudge* the houseless]. However… the fact that most of the warming centers are closed over the weekend seems a little shortsighted in our humble opinion. Strangely, the headline on the County website says the shelters are open through January 2, but scrolling down to the actual locations and hours and such, we discovered a different story. Hmmm…
CHEERS for things going Boom! and falling down. And a small portion of Reser Stadium is going to do just that at 7:30 in the [very early] morning on Friday, January 7. Those living nearby [within 1,000 feet] have been invited to a breakfast elsewhere, and the College of Veterinary Medicine has been forewarned [no surgeries scheduled at that time]. So all we need to say is, we’re sorry we forgot your last name Steve from Dykon Blasting, you were very informative and we feel like heels.
CHEERS for laws – they make living around other people so much less horrible and shooty. And every January we get a whole big bunch of new ones to force us to stay awake during Civics classes. This year we get new police-related laws that include oversight boards and forced friendliness with the FBI; we also get to keep watching our politicians over the web whenever possible; and finally [FINALLY!!] we can once more buy Sudafed [the real Sudafed and not just the sorta-fed] without a prescription. We encourage y’all to look through all the new laws, because come tomorrow there’s gonna be a quiz.
BIG SLOPPY JEERS for one Central Point, Ore. father who thought it would be acceptable to “meme” at Dr. Jill and President Joe Biden on Christmas Eve. The “meme” in question is one that means “f**k you Biden” and began at a NASCAR event when Brandon Brown was being interviewed – you’ve likely seen it. Anyhoo, this Oregon dad regularly calls into the NORAD Santa tracker so his kids can maybe talk to the First Fam, and this year they got through… then their dad made a complete a** of himself.
There were repercussions. The company this guy’s father owns – where the douchebag in question works – which has received just under $500,000 in PPP loans to keep things afloat – has been bombarded with hate. They have closed down their Facebook presence, been harassed on Twitter and Google, and have YouTube videos about their actions. Who knows what the Feds [not the Prez but the FBI, CIA, NSA, Other-Aconyms-We-Don’t-Know-About] are going to be doing in response.
Here’s the deal… you don’t have to like the Bidens. You don’t have to like the Trumps, the Obamas, or any of the other ex-presidents. You can say whatever you want about a politician, because it comes with the job. But there is a level of common decency and respect that we should all be held to regardless of our political affiliations. And dragging your children down into this kind of crap on a day most Americans have set aside for family, love, and peace is just… unacceptable.
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