CHEERS for Oregon’s unemployment rate. The state added 10,000 jobs last month, taking the state to a 4.2% unemployment rate – down from 4.4% in October. [Can I get a *woot woot*]
WE WAIT WITH BATED BREATH for Benton County’s unemployment rate for November; that number won’t come out for another week, but October’s rate was a nice and low 3.4%.
DROPPED JAWS over the fact that you need more than $1 million in savings for an average retirement in Corvallis. We knew that would be the case for Portland, but according to the people who track this stuff, it’s cheaper to retire in Seattle, Chicago, and Bend. [I mean, c’mon! We’re more expensive than Bend?!]
JEERS for Oregon’s efforts on the houseless front. In Multnomah County alone, 126 houseless people died in 2020. That’s an increase of 10% from 2019. To make matters more egregious and awful, that count of 126 human beings doesn’t include all who died from COVID, because they were housed [in hospitals, more than likely] for the 24 hours preceding their deaths.
WELL, POOP for the waste water testing in Lincoln County which have shown high levels of that thing we have come to know and despise – COVID-19. The Oregon Health Authority and OSU have been monitoring for the virus, and last week Lincoln County got a BINGO of multiple outbreaks happening right now.
CHEERS for Eugene [yeah, yeah, you all still hate Eugene, but we kinda love ‘em right now…] for providing the ‘Eugene Loo’ to people who need to go potty while being in the open. The city opened their handicapped-compliant, metal, graffiti-resistant restroom downtown in the southwest Park Block. At a cost of $225,000 and with maintenance being done twice daily by city staff, this little giant of a spot provides much needed equity for all who need to… well, you know.
FURROWED BROWS for holiday lights. Yes, they are pretty. Yes, they bring the spirit of the season to others. However… [you knew there would be a however, right? I mean, our brows are furrowed over here…] the energy usage for these displays can break both the bank and the power grid. Across the U.S., six trillion watts of power are used each year just to power light strings around doorways, blow-up Santas, and glowing plastic candy canes shoved into the dirt. We won’t even get into the cost in terms of dollars and carbon footprints.
LOUD RAUCOUS JEERS for State Senator Dallas Heard from Roseburg for deciding that he wasn’t going to wear a mask anymore. Much like a four-year-old crossing their arms and saying they won’t eat their broccoli, Heard had to be forced to leave the Senate floor with protestations of ‘I’m exercising my rights’ and likely a pout. He went on to insist that Gov. Brown was around a bunch of people in no-mandate-D.C. who weren’t masked so he shouldn’t have to wear one either [an excuse more generally used by teenagers who want to go to Vale for winter break since their friend Joey gets to go]. To top things off, the next time the Senate met, Heard was again unmasked and refusing to leave the floor, at which time everyone else was totally over it and let him cast his little vote for ending the special session so they could all just go home already. [BTW, in December of 2020, Heard spent his speech-making time on why pandemic restrictions shouldn’t be in place – ugh!]
CHEERS for people. People who need people, because they’re the luckiest people… well, speaking of lucky people, let’s all give it up for the Baumgardner Family plus a friend of Springfield who were found in good health and free of injury after going missing on Dec. 12 in the Box Canyon area. When they failed to come home on time, people got in touch with the sheriff and cell phone records were traced and everything went as it should. [Now sing with me – They’re the luckiest people in the world!]
CHEERS for our American space agency which has shot a spacecraft into the sun. Three years ago, NASA sent a space probe [why does space always make people think of probes?] to the sun, you know, just to poke around a bit [to probe, perhaps?]. Well, the Parker Solar Probe has finally touched the sun. They’ve already found out things, like that some magnetic zigzags in solar winds begin on the sun’s surface, and that when you send probes into suns, you shouldn’t expect to get them back… ever. [probe – hee hee]
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