Famous Obits 2022
A toast to Kirstie Alley
Loved oh so many years
This one’s for you, dear lady
Cheers
Now he’s gone, Gaylord Perry
On the mound truly did it all
Curves and sliders and also
A very good spitball
Ms Olivia Newton-John is sadly gone
Leaving us all most blue
Every single one of your fans
“Honestly loved you”
Now that Jerry Lee Lewis
Has packed his bags and gone
You know for sure he has no more
Shakin’ going on
Irene Cara
Made her name
Writing for Flashdance
And as Coco in Fame
Gallagher’s life
In November came crashing
To an end
No more melon smashing
Loretta Lynn
No singer finer
Was ever the daughter
Of a coal miner
Gorbachev’s perestroika
And too his glasnost
Are what from Russia
Today we miss most
Bill Russell standing
At six foot nine
One of the best of Boston
Of all time
Nichelle (Nichols), our belle
Loved by millions
As Uhura well
Our Nichelle
Tony Dow’s no more
He’s gone, by golly
Famous for being
The Beav’s brother Wally
Meat Loaf sang and wrote
And refused COVID vaccines
That’s sad
One out of those three was bad
Peter Bagdanovich is gone
And we are filled with woe
That he has finally finished up
His very Last Picture Show
Sidney Poitier’s gone and how
A magnificent multi-award winner
And it probably is apparent now
Who’s Not Coming to Dinner
And last, we bade the Queen goodbye
She finally ran out of luck
The dance death she so long defied
Just ask her oldest, Chuck
I Resolve
I resolve this year . . .
To focus much more upon my waist
And try to be a bit more chaste
To be prudent with my credit card
And do more work in my back yard
To drive more carefully on the road
And never let emotions explode
To drink a bit less alcohol
And lower my cholesterol
To deal with problems with finesse
And learn to better manage stress
To cut down my excess consumption
And also get a bit more gumption
To always look upon the bright side
And to take bad news in stride
To stick to every promise here
So I don’t have to repeat this again next year.
Out of Season
Seems they didn’t
Get their wish
Went out ice fishing
But just caught fish
Friend Zoned
When dating fossils
It all depends
Sometimes they just
Wanna be friends
Big Whoop
Why does all of your stuff rhyme?
And have meter?
What if you wrote poetry
In a more free form
Unrestricted by those old-fashioned ideas?
OK
I’ll give it a try
Here it is
Big whoop
Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.
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