From Bad to Verse: Flat Earth, Liar Lies, Statistical Insignificance

Limerick 

I heard it first from my grandpa 

What is known as the lumberjack’s law 

This simple delusion 

Leads to some confusion 

Cuz it says what you see, you saw 

If Earth Were Flat 

I’ve been to many countries 

Scattered ‘round the world 

Met a lot of people 

Saw many flags unfurled 

I know if the earth were truly flat 

And I fell off of its ledge 

I’d just flip and stick to the bottom 

Cuz gravity won’t stop at an edge 

Moving Experience 

It truly is 

A special skill 

That after dying 

A liar lies still 

Bye Bye Birdie 

Tiny birdie 

On a quest 

Gathering things 

To build a nest 

The nest is a 

Necessity 

If mating’s any 

Hope for thee 

You mate, you rest 

The chicks are born 

And now you search  

For worms each morn 

You feed the chicks 

They squirm and squawk 

You guard them from 

A hungry hawk 

They grow, it’s time 

For them to fledge 

So you go push them 

Off the edge 

With that, it’s done 

Of them you’re rid 

I’ll try this with 

My teenage kid 

Peddle Pusher 

The breathless unicyclist 

I’ll let pass by 

Cuz he sure is 

“One-tired guy 

Statistical Insignificance 

Hail to the internet info sage 

His wisdom – no debata 

All the proof in all he claims 

From a single point of data 

One Liner 

Since I got cloned, I don’t know what to do with myself 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.