From Bad to Verse: Motion Pitchers, Killing Time, Free Agency Isn’t Free 

Motion Pitchers 

I think it 

Is really groovy 

Francis Ford made 

A Coppola good movies 

Weather or Not 

Making thermometers 

For work’s very odd 

But I am concerned 

It’s only a temp job 

Killing Time 

Making the ends of verses rhyme 

Is really fun for me when I’m 

Sitting around killing time  

I’m getting good at that, you see 

It’s how I write my poetry 

Killing time’s better than it killing me 

Getting the Last Word 

My obituary 

Won’t be a headline 

But I’ll write it now 

To beat the deadline 

Free Agency Isn’t Free 

I’m a poetic free agent 

Eligible for the draft 

When I made that announcement 

My agent laughed 

(But I don’t care) 

My services now go 

To the highest bidder 

Multi-year contracts 

I’ll gladly consider 

Or if to those 

Folks are averse 

Then I can be flexible – 

Pay per verse? 

As for media deals 

I’ll be the next star 

Are you ready for me 

NPR? 

So prepare your best offer 

To me, the bomb 

And send it directly 

To kevin@kevingahern.com 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.