From Bad to Verse: My Biggest Worry, Missing Word, A Full Stop

My Biggest Worry 

I think I’ve contracted hypochondria 

Because all the signs are there 

An anxiety inside my brain 

Symptoms everywhere 

 

Do I have it?  Am I OK? 

Will I need some kind of crutch? 

Now I’m really, truly worried 

That I worry too much 

 

Go Out and Get It 

The store with things 

For fireplace mantels 

Is having a blowout 

Sale on candles 

 

Limerick 

A beautiful actress named Bess 

Described her long path to success 

She says in the ‘hood 

Known as Hollywood 

Tain’t who you know, it’s who you yes 

 

Another Limerick 

A critic I know rather old 

Writes reviews that are harsh and quite bold 

He’s paid ev’ry week  

For pithy critique 

I’d say he is panning for gold 

 

One Liner 

Referees are fight attendants 

 

Missing Word 

I had an experience 

Most absurd 

When telling a story 

I lost a word 

 

I searched my brain 

And on the ground 

Then on the table 

It was not found! 

 

I asked my friend 

Who helped me look 

At last she found it 

Twas in a book 

 

Dot Bomb 

Your use of punctuation 

Is grotesque – Wish I could mute ya 

Twisted and tangled, it’s mess 

A bunch of Comma Sutra 

 

Full Stop 

A brand new punctuation 

Concludes your every thought 

The battle against the period 

You long and hard have fought 

 

The dot is gone, you’ve buried it 

As best as I can tell 

Replaced by something stupider 

LOL 

 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.   

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