From Bad to Verse: Punctuated Relationship, Gopher Walk, Infinity Not

Punctuated Relationship 

When two copy editors socialize 

If they have their druthers 

They’ll get a dinner, movie too 

And, uh comma date each other 

 

A Big Draw 

Being a sketch artist in a career 

Is not so awfully dumb 

I hear a very good one can 

Make a stick figure income 

 

See No More 

My pen was filled with invisible ink 

By a jokester as a prank 

Each time I tried to use it 

I always drew a blank 

 

Limerick 

The advice isn’t something to knock 

If your rodent is talking the talk 

You should tell him to chill 

Out on that big hill 

Maybe he should gopher a walk 

 

Count On It 

One is the number 

That’s the top of the top 

But also the last one 

Before you blast off 

 

Two is company 

So they say 

And what it takes 

To tango away 

 

Three is the number 

That makes things a crowd 

And the strikes that you get 

Before you are out 

 

Four in Gettysburg 

Got paired up with score 

And also with “Final:” 

On the basketball floor 

 

Five are the fingers 

That we count on one hand 

And the number of senses 

Psychics claim to expand 

 

Six is the number 

Of half a dozen in a pack 

And the sum of sides around a cube 

Counting front and back 

 

Seven are the days 

Comprising a week 

And the number of little guys 

Snow White did seek 

 

Eight is enough 

Some people will claim 

And the legs of an octopus 

Add up to the same 

 

Nine are the planets 

If Pluto you include 

And the lives with which 

A cat is imbued 

 

Ten pins make up 

A bowling pin set 

And the collection of fingers 

And toes that you get 

 

I could continue this verse 

But my heart isn’t in it 

Cuz my time for writing it 

Is sadly not infinite 

 

Wrong Key 

When the cellist’s sound 

Came out quite flat 

The conductor said, 

“Why in the F did you do that? 

 

Do Nothings 

Don’t believe everything you hear 

“Nothing is impossible,” some will say 

But I know many people, dear 

Who do nothing every single day 

 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.   

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