Punch Line
Vlad the Impaler likes to joke
But his punchlines make me cry
His favorite one begins, I’m told
“So this bar goes into a guy”
Visitors
I love to welcome visitors
I love to see their faces
I love to drive them out to all
The many beautiful places
I love to spend some time with them
I love to talk ’til dawn
I love my many visitors
I also love it when they’re gone
Limerick
Consider the flowering mum
All dry sitting out in the sun
It said to its potter
“I can’t absorb water”
“So I must request a xylem”
Holed Over
My cousin coming to my house
Was late in his arriving
Cuz he bought donuts while en route
And got stopped for Dunkin’ driving
Deep Down
My muffler shop’s got problems now
No water for a spell
They’ll fix it with a real deep hole
OK, I’ll say it – Midas’ well
Sour Note
I tried out for the chorus
“I’m a tenor,” I would say
And now they have me singing
Tenor eleven miles away
Circular Argument
The cycles of life are grand in scale
From politics to fashion to zen
I tried to resist, but to no avail
Leftovers tonight again
The Time It Is a Changin’
(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’ ”)
Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who may notice that winter is going away
And accept it is true clocks can change what they say
No matter the outcomes circadian
You had better get with it or a price you will pay
For the time it is a-changin’
Go set your clocks forward or be late all the day
Get started right now cuz tomorrow’s Monday
Such a zombie you’ll be and it won’t go away
No matter how much you’re exclaimin’
The hour lost now will come back one fall day
Oh the time it is a-changin’
So calm down your anger, ’tis useless to fight
Leap forward not backward to decrease your nights
Though you curse old Ben Franklin with all of your might
And his thoughts on the clock rearrangin’
It’s the time of the year to be saving daylight
Oh the time it is a-changin’
Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses.
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