Pets o’ The Advocate and Their Assistants

Wembley-Don ‘Wembles’ Von Lipschitz

Assistant Johnny Beaver

Weighing in at 30 pounds, Wembley-Don “Wembles” Von Lipschitz enjoys flopping, rubbing and lying on things, and gets very anxious when his food bowl is not overflowing.

Mocha

Assistant Steve Schultz

Mocha swears whining will shorten one’s drive to the trailhead, protects the couch, and believes steak and carrots are God.

Yeti

Assistants Kyle Bunnell and Stevie Beisswanger

Yeti is a sweet marshmallow monster. She’s been known to turn dog people into cat people.

May

Assistant Regina Pieracci

May knows Mandarin. Her family does not know Mandarin, but if they play YouTube clips of dog commands it’s almost like they do.

Mosie

Assistant Kiki Genoa

Mosie is actually a cartoon.

Harry, Bo, Cecilia & Macy

Assistant Anthony Vitale

Bo has masochistic tendencies, often abusing his owners emotionally. Cecilia was born a baby and never grew out of it. Harry is a bastard with a fused retina and neurological issues. Macy is very proper, she gets mad when laughed at or insulted.

Buddha

Assistant Jamie Asunsolo

Buddha is equally as offended as Asunsolo’s son about hiking.

Chicken

Acquaintance John M. Burt

Chicken lived in Burt’s chicken coop. Eventually, Chicken decided Burt was too scary, with his soft words and bowls of food, and stopped coming around. All the best, Chicken.

Molly & Melody

Assistant Kara Beu

Melody is fond of looking out windows, lying in boxes, and chewing on plastic.

Molly loves making nose art on the car window and barking at pedestrians. She is an employed route carrier for The Advocate.

Chesapeake, Fred & Alexandria 

Assistant Matthew Hunt

Fred is a corrugated cardboard construction engineering specialist.

Alexandria has her status protected by diplomatic immunity.

Chesapeake is Hunt’s only trustworthy animal companion.

Dessa, aka Lil Wheezy

Assistant Anika Lautenbach

Dessa is a super chatty house cat with little

to no survival skills. She enjoys eating, lying around, and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Gauge

Assistant Annika Darling

Gauge is a happy dork obsessed with balls and fetch. His tricks are Eskimo kisses and telling secrets, meaning he’ll lick your ear if you lean down and ask him to tell you a secret.