From Bad to Verse: Identity Crisis, Getting Duped, No Bull

Identity Crisis 

Scientists say 

It’s best for you 

To think of clones 

As people two 

 

Getting Duped 

My friend was confused 

What cloning was 

So to her I said 

“That makes two of us” 

 

No Bull 

In the livestock business 

This is the word 

Cows stick together 

To be herd 

 

Neopolitans 

Portland residents are wetropolitans 

Las Vegas residents are betropolitans 

Tucson residents are sweatropolitans 

Babylonian residents were tabletropolitans 

Nostalgics are retropolitans 

College students are debtropolitans 

Consumers are getropolitans 

Web users are netropolitans 

Bombers are nitropolitans 

Texans are petropolitans 

Animal doctors are vetropolitans 

 

Life 

Youth dies early 

Aging lives on 

Until the big stop sign 

Says you can’t go on 

 

Limited Lease 

Upon the Earth, your time’s not owned 

You only get to rent it 

And when the lease is up, my friend 

No way you can extend it 

 

We’ve Got Plenty 

Better times than this 

We truly deserve 

It’s time to stop tapping 

Our Strategic Stupidity Reserve 

 

Kevin Ahern is an Oregon State University professor Emeritus of Biochemistry and Biophysics. In his retirement, he writes verses. 

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